antiqueing with grandma

hello dolls, dears, & teddy bears,

atlhough this week was still stressful it was

still better than the previous so am thankful..

i got to visit with my grandma which helped,

she's the only person in my immediate family who 

shares my love of antique and vintage items

earlier in the week i went to her apartment to help 

put away her christmas bins, and then she was

showing me a lot of old valentines cards that were hers 

or her parents or her grandparents! 

below i took a reference photo of the card which was gifted to her by

my late grandfather decades ago. it it a reproduction of 

an antique valentine's card ♡ 

then on friday we went out to the antique shoppe not 

far from where she lives, my first trip to it this year 

though apparently weve been there enough times now 

since it opened a few years ago that

the store owner recogises us- 

ive never been a "regular" before ꒰ྀི ៸៸៸៸ ก꒱ྀི

since it's almost febuary they had a lot of their 

antique & vintage valentine items displayed for sale!

now, i really shouldn't have because i need to save up my money 

but... decided to treat myself and buy a few vintage cards 

for my old card collection.. 

they were all cheap, no more than $1-$2 each

my heart aches though thinking about the $20 

valentines box of old cards out of my budget for the trip..

my grandma mentioned taking out my great-grandmother's
(or was it great-aunt's?) old valentines and letting me 

choose some from hers to add to my collection 

since she likes the idea of me keeping them in the family 

when/if that happens will certainly share what i get from that

 ꒰ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀི꒱

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

i didn't work on many paintings this week, 

besides finishing up the teddy bear painting i shared last week.

i will not be sharing the final result until i am able 

to get a quality photo for the digital archives 

(that'll probably not happen until febuary since am busy;;)

i started up a new wip this week however!

this is another long overdue birthday painting for 

my dear friend Rosie of her characters maxine & toby-

my longtime favourites of her dolly story world Rosenatheria ♡

the area of the paper where the illustration is has 

been given a light tea stain wash as i would like this to 

feel more aged. am finding it more and more fun to do ♡ 

the second is the "antique doll ad" and related accessories set i 

made for Goatlings. i entered the design into three official contests in hopes 

that maybe it'll be chosen for one of them: the monthly "design-a-goatling" 

whose theme is palace garden, the "diamond dust/fundraiser", & for the "battle center"..

the submission period is ending quite soon so if i get lucky will be sure 

to share! but if not that is okay because ill have at least one more 

oppurnity for this design when it comes time for the 

spring goat token game submissions  ꒰ྀི ฅ́˘ฅ̀ ྀི꒱

 ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

finally i have more sketchbook works to share this week 

꒰ྀི ◌´ `◌ ྀི꒱

the first relates to last week's schneekugel der rosen

 sketch as it's going to be a four parts..

i introduced "eins" the previous sunday, so this sunday is "zwei",

dolle's second life

dolle rosenheart 

(zwei)
"i can't trust anyone, not even myself, so why do you still

insist to be with me?"
"i only wish to return to that dream...."

while "eins" is based from a much earlier time the majority 

of you wouldn't have met, "zwei" may spark 

some familiarity..

did you know me when i used to be called plushiemothdoll?

as before, more details will be shared around each life in a dedicated post..

and last for this week, i made art studies again

this is the start of my "toy anatomy" studies in 

the doll cateogatory

this week i studied the French "bebe" style bisque dolls 

with the leather body ♡

this is one of the main body types i use for my doll characters 

so find it important i understand it better

thank you once again for visiting, 

until next time..

goodnight my dears

♡𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎𝒹𝓸𝓁𝓁𝓮♡

 

tear drops & teddy bears

 

hello dolls, dears, & teddy bears

i hope that the week has been treating you well,

that you've been taking care of yourself ꒰ྀི ◌´ `◌ ྀི꒱

my week honestly hasn't been too well, my emotions became

overwhelming again and was at risk for a relapse;;

it was difficult when it happened because my safe person wasn't

available, and none of my friends were available either at the time-

i felt scared and alone in such a fragile state of mind..

thankfully, i managed to cope through the worst part of it

i forced myself to focus enough to write my feelings down into my journal

to keep me occupied, and as a means to reflect later on it

am still not entirely feeling the best, i feel exhausted after crying so much

but this is the unfortunate reality of recovery, 

the low moments are going to strike again and again and again

tearing down the progress that was made

i think ill be okay though

but there's a lot of uncertainity

and presently a lot of fear i have for the future

i want to be hopeful for now though

and just think of the present

꒰⸝⸝ ⑅ ◞  ◟⸝⸝꒱

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

i've been working on a few important artworks this week!
the first is an art trade with my dear friend angel of his character, 

it was meant to be completed by autumn of last year but i wasn't able to

properly make traditional paintings for awhile so it got delayed;;

although it is complete i will not be sharing it just yet because

i would like to wait for the warping to go away that way i can finish decorating

it with lace- i just have to get myself matte mod podge first;;

i realise the mod podge here currently is glossy- 

quite a horrifying realisation from last week's scrapbooking when everything

became so reflective ꒰ྀི ㅜㅁㅜ ꒱ྀི

like nooooo- am not a fan of glossy unless it is silk ribbons..

next, i have almost finished a delayed birthday gift for my dear friend babydoll 

of cherub teddies heavily based upon a vintage/antique painting-

am sure some of you angelcore dears seen it before, but if not included it below too!

(unfortunately do not know the original illustrator so if anyone knows, tell me please qwq)

this was taken before i finished up the second teddy bear, 

so all that's really left is to add the final touches & rendering ♡

finally i was fortunate enough to get my first commission order of the year, 

a simple & cute emote for bianca

it's really fun making emotes! i hope i can get to make more of them

for others sometime..

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

finally i have completed a sketchbook page this week,

character sketch related to my storybook project 

schneekugel der rosen of dolle's first life ("eins")

dolle rosenheart

(eins)
"i loved everyone, and wished for everyone to love me the same.

how careless and naive i was...."

"i knew he was a bad man, i should've told someone, rather

than try handling it alone...."

 uuu... i've been meaning to mention this for awhile,

but i'll await to go in depth for a dedicated post

as this is getting a bit long-

myself & dolle are one and the same,

i am not roleplaying as my character for immersion, as my character is me

(just with, much better eyelashes and from a cute snowglobe world of living dolls)

schneekugel der rosen is a fairytale story as much as it is a vulnerable project,

a way for me to reflect and cope with my emotions and experiances in a 

safe way- while also being able to stand on its own as just art or storybook to the observer

i like to write stories from parts of my heart

and schneekugel der rosen is it as a whole

thank you for reading, i hope you visit again soon ♡

goodnight my dears

♡𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎𝒹𝓸𝓁𝓁𝓮♡

new years resolutions

 

hello dolls, dears, & teddy bears ꒰ྀི ๑ ´ ˘ ` ू ꒱ྀི

it is the new year, thank goodness!

and with new years comes new resolutions, which i am eager to share!

this was also my first year combining my journaling, scrapbooking, & sketchbook

together as one rather than keep them seperated..

i think it looks quite cute! i just wish i had more to work with 
꒰⸝⸝´ㅁˋ⸝⸝꒱ ྀི

୨୧꒰ resolutions 2023꒱୨୧

♡ prioritize schneekugel der rosen┊ my main goal this year is to complete the current drafts for schneekugel der rosen, maybe more?

♡ focus on personal illustrations┊ this year i would like to actually focus on making completed illustrations for myself/my projects, something which i haven't done in a longlong time;;

♡ officially open art commissions┊ although i do currently accept art commissions i do not have a proper site and form which would make things so much more convienant..

♡ complete an art challenge┊ i have a number of #DTIYS challenge posts saved back from as far back as 2018 that i have never gotten around to- so i hope this year to complete at least one of them! and perhaps a monthly challenge too if i get the chance.. 

♡ read more literature┊ i went for a long time without reading and last year began to readjusting to it, so this year hope to read more books throughout this year and share what i read here

♡ no overworking┊ i have a lot of struggle with not overworking myself, so this year would like to be more mindful of my body's needs and allow it to rest before things get too much..

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

besides my new years resolutions page in my scrapbook sketch journal, i actually have another journal am working in this year too which is dedicated to my art studies

in previous years these were mixed into my normal sketchbook, but last year when i was out shopping in prepartion for this years sketchbooks decided to buy two instead of one- and it just wasn't because there was a good deal going on that saved me money ꒰ though it was part of it꒱꒰ྀི ៸៸៸៸ ก꒱ྀི

so now i have a seperate book just to showcase my art studies!

i take art studies veryvery seriously and it is something which i highly encourage all artists to do no matter your style. even if not as dedicated as i am too it, even doing it once in awhile could be incredibly helpful in your journey!

personally it has helped me improve a lot with my illustrations because i have a better understanding on what am drawing. i know how to break the shapes down and stylise them when i want to..

before i go off on a tangent, i completed two studies recently!

first is a studies on roses, i really hope to make mine begin to look a little more realistic this year so will be doing a lot of these. i'll be making painted studies eventually, but for now am just working on understanding the structure as seen by the simple doodles to the side 

 

the second studies is two pages focused on studying stained glass windows. admittedly, am really unahppy with my current outcomes as they feel very messy and uneven! but that is okay, i'll just have to try again another time..

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

next here is a couple other little illustrations i worked on this week ♡

i made my first warm-up illustration for the year, a little painting of a baby teddy bear i called honey milk. ill be selling this at a later time so keep an eye out on my instagram when it'll be available amongst my older warm up paintings if it's something you're fond of 

꒰ྀི ฅ́˘ฅ̀ ྀི꒱

and now a digital concept sketch of my character princess rosemarie bonnet beaufort in my shoujo style, she's for a potential webcomic project based off a story/comic idea i originally wrote in my early childhood ♡ i had a lot of fun with the lace brush in clip studio paint with this! ill likely rely on it for comic projects to ease the process 

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

finally, i would like to end on a more serious note.

details are vague but this is a bit of senstive topic

it's been something i've spoken of quite a bit throughout the past couple years regarding my social media usage and my future of it, especially since there is a lot more new faces now compared to before who may be unfamliar with my thoughts..

....

my relationship with social media, especially sites like instagram, has been incredibly unhealthy;;

it corrupted my value of self, my relationship with my art, and i was exposed to content and people i should have never been at a pretty young age in spaces that should have been safe.. 

back when i was 13/14 when i was active on deviantart and facebook, i almost ended up inpatient at the hospital because of a couple of online related incidents that still haunts me- that i have only been able to start moving forward from within the past couple months.. 

i remember the nurse who was talking to me suggested i need to get offline or at least not be on it too often- to restrict my access, i also remember scoffing at such an idea- everyone was online nowadays! and i, more than anything, was growing dependant on the immediate attention recieved, desiring popularity like other artists i looked up to so i could live my then dream as full-time artist

and well, looking back.... the nurse was right-

i really did need to get offline or have my access restricted because i was only hurting myself
numbers became more important and i started to bury what i liked in an attempt of being as appealing to as many people as i could.. 

so in recent years i've gotten better at distancing myself from social media,

taking hiatus when i feel the need to and restricting access for certain lengths of time..

my wellbeing has signifantly improved during those times

i no longer care about numbers, or fame

i just care about being me and whoever tags along, tags along

its why i no longer celebrate follower milestones, it doesn't feel good anymore..

ive always had an interest in web design, i recall some of the earlier internet days when blogs were still common. i adore how personal they are, how customised they are compared to the sterile minimilistic look major sites have nowadays..

that is what influenced me to create my blog in the first place, and eventually plan to have a website too. that is why my online activity will navigate back to here now.. 

regarding my social media accounts, they'll remain for the time being

i'll be using them, instagram especially, as a means to update on activity around the blog. as for normal posts, they'll be mostly limited to commissions, art sale advertisements, holidays/seasonal art, and the occassional art challenge

ill also be sticking around so i can continue to support my friends, mutuals, and inspirations who remain within those sites. they are the reason i could truly never let go, even now..

however, to prevent myself from falling into endless scrolling given myself a timelimit of 30 minutes-1 hour a day on social media sites. its been a few days i started doing this and am already seeing improvent!

꒰ྀི ◌´ `◌ ྀི꒱

well, it's getting quite late and this is getting a bit long isn't it?

thank you for reading, i hope you visit again soon

goodnight my dears

♡𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎𝒹𝓸𝓁𝓁𝓮♡